So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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