You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
What a dumb baby whore.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
