tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
