he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
