Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
