Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
