Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Sext me about skeletons
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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