if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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