Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
