Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize