all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
