Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
