my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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