babies were throwing up all over the place
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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