Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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