I just cut my nipple shaving
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
