she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
