My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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