I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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