Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
50% drunk capacity currently
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
