It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Randomize
