so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Randomize
