you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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