wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize