so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
