the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
