while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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