I wish I could teleport
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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