Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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