Do you still have your period?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize