Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Randomize
