Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize