The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
