I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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