The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
