just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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