Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
