Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize