I'm lost and stupid without you.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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