Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
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