My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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