So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
