Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
