I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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