there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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