this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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