Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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