Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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