if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
