Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
