we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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