Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
