There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
she looked like the before picture.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
