i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
