Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
