Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
