Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
