dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
