:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
